I had just reached the point of daring to exhale, thinking the radical, illogical mood swings were behind me and that I had achieved a modicum of balance. Prematurus optimistus. 
Believing myself close to again holding the upper hand in my own life, I decided to defeat a stubborn and embarrassing rash that had plagued my chin on and off for months. None of the usual herbal remedies worked, nor could I find anything surefire in all of my research. I finally relented and asked my doctor, who prescribed tetracycline and cortisone cream. I hadn’t taken tetracycline for decades and was unprepared for my stomach’s adamant revolt. It took some work, but I figured out how to get it down and keep it down with minimal aggravation. I gave little thought to the cortisone cream. Within the week, I was weepy to the extreme. Every little thing, sometimes no thing at all, triggered a sob fest, which I did my best to hide from my hubby. Then the irritability crept in. Not only was I tearful, I was pissy, to boot. Again, I turned to the world wide web. 
The obvious culprit, or so I thought, was the tetracycline, since I was taking it orally. I scoured webpage after webpage, finding only the most oblique references to tetracycline and bipolar disorder. Finally, I found two articles, Adverse Psychiatric Reactions to Prescribed Drugs, and Contributors to “Mood Episodes,” both of which specified tetracycline as a common contributor to depression. Considering my vast experience of weird reactions to all kinds of prescription drugs, I reasoned that the antibiotic accounted for my weepiness, but did not explain my growing edginess. So, I continued searching. Then I came across a reference of horrifying humor. ’Roid Rage they call it, because it bears a striking resemblance to anabolic steroid abuse and the psychosis that often ensues. Only, the episodes in bipolar disorder can be triggered by exposure as small as steroid inhalers for allergies and asthma, steroid eye-drops for autoimmune disorders, etc. and yes, steroid creams like the cortisone I’d been dutifully daubing on my chin. Did I stop using the meds and learn to live with the cracking, bleeding rash that made me feel like a metaphorical leper? Nope. This is an instance in which knowledge is power. Understanding that my little mood swings truly resulted from external sources and that I was not losing control again, allowed me to fashion a mental remedy for the pharmaceutical ones. It took conscious will and focus ~ as those who have tried to connect with me can attest ~ but I made it through! I only have two more antibiotics to swallow, the cortisone is essentially done, and the skin on my chin is clear and soft. I did it by making myself stay as positive as possible and reminding myself of something I already knew. 
Kitty R. Connell
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